CIF: Cleaning Is Feminine

Firstly, apologies to my loyal readers – all two of you – for the mammoth amount of time between posts: final exams, exam slams, results, graduation (!!), job searching, flat searching, job finding, flat finding (…?) and well, life just got in the way of blogging.

But I’m finally back in the zone and am targeting the world of cleaning products. And I’m angry.

So, let me set the scene for you: An untouched coffee on the table next to a plate full of buttery crumpet smears, me slumped ungraciously on the beanbag in my pyjamas, head lolling around after a hard day of work (see: job finding), catching up with the latest news on the box. Hot image, I know. But suddenly my tired eyes catch sight of something unseen since the days of geeky, gawky, awkward Mr Muscle: an advertisement showing men cleaning!

Gulping my coffee furiously, needing the caffeine hit to take in the spectacle, I hear: “…until a knight arrived with a bottle of Cif cream…” My jaw now aches slightly from gawping (see: pyjamas, beanbag, hot.) A knight…a male…advertised…cleaning? No, no. This cannot be! Surely you have it wrong? Everybody knows that in our modern society, where gender equality reigns supreme and womankind is no lesser than mankind that cleaning is a woman’s job!

However, appearances are often deceiving and as the advert comes to a close, I realise this more than ever. The knight is crowned: Queen of the Kingdom. Just to clarify, Cif isn’t involved in some queer stereotyping fiasco, kein Grund zur Panik. Although I do wonder if that would have been slightly better than the sad truth.

The knight was a woman.

Sigh.

Now, I would love to be so naive to think that Cif is championing trans rights. But I highly doubt it. I should have known that the only person capable of cleaning a dirty pot (and as it turns out an entire fairytale castle) would be a woman. Because that’s what women do, isn’t it?

My bad, I forgot.

Although, perhaps someone should drop Simone de Beauvoir’s descendants a message to clarify that… um, well, she kind of got it all wrong. In the year 2012, it appears “femininity” still comes in measures of bleach, washing powder and polish. As if this wasn’t enough to digest, two adverts later WOWcher whack out another declaration of women’s rights with a “shock” bikini wax. Because let’s face it, we all know a muff with fluff is supposedly rough.

But why?

Why can’t women go more than two days without shaving their legs, pits and bits? Why is it considered unclean for us to have hair down there when our “equal” male counterparts are fully allowed rock the curly locks?

The night was drawing to a close and I was left with a bitter taste in my mouth. It wasn’t the coffee (Reppin’ Tesco value fo’ life). It just seemed a bit sad that today so many woman appear to be happy with the state of our female rights, claiming that we are now all liberated and independent women.

Yes, free and liberated women held down only by Veet wax strips and vacuum pipes.